Friday 12 April 2013

From A Girlfriend To Another, Regards Rock Chicks

“We're all lost. The best chance we got is to wander this life with the people who matter.” 
― Kristen Ashley


Dear Girlfriend,

I have not been feeling well lately. I woke up this morning feeling lost. I read Qur'an and I prayed. Don't know why I am still feeling edgy, tired and restless. I might need a vacation I guess. Your words last night really touched me so deep that I have never known it existed. I feel like I am missing something in life. I can't even describe what I feel because I do not even understand me. But I do know I feel empty. 

Thank you for sharing with me something beautiful last night babe. Do share and feed me with any happy news so that I can embrace the happiness if only for a day because I just want to take a day at a time for now. 

Regards,
Indy, 8.12 am



Dear Girlfriend,

You are thinking too much. Do take consolation in the fact that everything has been written, girl. I was a better muslim before and I felt so close to God when I was younger. So when I didn't feel the blessing when I prayed and do du'a these couple of years, I wondered what happened, why my mind was just not there and I felt that I have drifted away from Him despite the fact that I'm the kind of person who pray regularly. 

I remember when the stroke guy dumped me, I was sad. I seek God but I didn't feel it despite the sadness. So when the teacher who I dated dumped me, it hit so low I literally collapsed in my living room at my previous house crying loud asking God "why Allah? Where are You Allah? Where are You". I cried hard until evening and that night I called my girlfriend and we went out. I was okay for a while but the pain was so deep and I was depressed for months. God sent me a girlfriend who was there to listen and she kept saying good riddance bad rubbish. I was sad and when there was nothing I could do anymore to ease the pain that was when I learn to ask from God everyday only for happiness and strength to go through that day. 

I never thought that one day I have to ask God everyday to give me some strength so that my sadness doesn't affect those around me especially my parents. Honestly girl, all my accidents and almost got rob cases were the final blow and they made me realise that only Allah can help me, not only to overcome my sadness but also to protect me from danger and those with bad intention. But for that, I have to seek Allah and when I seek Allah when I feel sad, I know that I have someone to turn to. Until now I have long lost hope in life. I have no ambition and all I want is to have at least more money and some ease in life so that I can take my parents for holiday sometime soon. 

You just imagine girl I'm just 31 year old and I'm not looking forward to the future. What does this fact tell about me? And all I could think of is that all the good things in life are for other people but me. But in the midst of these, I am hoping that I can hope. So I learn to search for hope. I ask God for this everyday, girlfriend and I tell Him that I am just a nobody, other people won't turn twice to see me. And as such, in terms of finding my soulmate, if He didn't bring that special someone to me and show the one that I got something good in me then no one will notice me. So I ask Him to help, but I said if there is no one for me in this big world then teach me they way to accept this, and please turn me into someone who accepts me for who I am and the way I look. 

So the same goes about job, friends and life generally. What I'm trying to say is, girl, is that you are not alone, but you have so much good things in you, and you just have to step back for a while to see it from far. You got to give a pat on your  back for all the wonderful things you did for yourself, your family and your friends. You have also to come to term with the past  girl, it has been too long and you have now to tell yourself that he was not all the man you think he was, but maybe half of it. Search for hope, girl and to do that we must seek Allah...and let us do this together!

Regards,
Ally, 12.49pm

Dear Ally,

Your are like an 'Ally' to me and I hope I can be your 'Indy'. Thank you for being you and for always asking how I am doing and for checking up on me all the times. I now realized I am blessed with so many beautiful things in life.

Thank you Allah.

Love ya, girlfriend.

(Note: The conversation was a real one between Ally and Indy, though those were not their real names !)


“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” 
― Steve MaraboliLife, the Truth, and Being Free


9.22 PM, BSP

2 comments:

  1. Sahabatku, hari ini aku sedar bahawa hubungan kita dengan manusia itu amat rapuh. Ada ketikanya kita amat gembira bersama dan pada ketika itu hati kita berdendang riang, lantas terasa ringan. Namun pada masa lainnya, sahabat, yang indah itu hilang sepantas angin yang berlalu, kerna ada masanya manusia tidak perlukan kita, kerna mereka ada yang lain dan kerna mereka tidak pantas lagi bersama kita. Pada masa inilah sahabat, aku mengadu kepada Tuhan tentang kesunyian hati, tentang rasa pedihnya kesakitan dihati ini, tentang menjadi penonton setia pada kebahagian sahabat-sahabatku, tentang tangisan-tangisanku lewat ini, tentang betapa banyaknya sayang yang aku ada tapi tiada siapa yang dapat kuberi, tentang betapa hinanya aku dimata manusia dan kurangnya aku dimata Tuhan..remuk rasanya hatiku ini dan jika tiada siapa yang bergantung padaku ingin sahaja aku membawa diri jauh dari sini kesatu tempat baru dimana tiada siapa yang kenal akan diriku ini..Tapi aku tidak bisa sahabat, aku tidak bisa..aku tidak bisa kerna aku tidak tega mengecewakan mereka yang dekat padaku..lantas aku memohon pada Tuhan, sahabat, agar diberi kekuatan, agar Dia menjaga dan merawat hatiku yang remuk ini, agar Dia bersamaku selalu dan ketika manusia sedang enak dibuai mimpi indah, aku merayu tidak berhenti-henti pada Tuhan agar Dia sentiasa bersamaku dalam liku-liku ini dan aku memohon padanya agar janganlah Dia tinggalkan aku walaupun untuk sesaat....-Mara O' Hara -

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  2. Dear girlfriend, Im glad our paths crossed. Be happy girl, i know that we, rock chicks, will make do with whatever we have...lots of love, Ally.

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